Why Holiday Stress Overwhelms the Nervous System — and Why Rest Matters
Chloë Bean, LMFT is a licensed somatic trauma therapist based in Los Angeles, specializing in anxiety, burnout, trauma, and nervous system healing for high-achieving women. Her work integrates somatic therapy, EMDR, and IFS to support lasting regulation, resilience, and relational healing.
How Holiday Stress Dysregulates the Nervous System (and Why It Feels So Intense)
Holiday stress overwhelms the nervous system because it combines prolonged stimulation with reduced recovery. During the holidays, social obligations increase, routines change, sleep is often disrupted, and emotional labor intensifies. From a biological perspective, this creates sustained nervous system activation without adequate time to return to baseline.
When the nervous system stays activated for too long, it can shift into survival modes such as hypervigilance, irritability, emotional shutdown, or overwhelm. This is why people may feel more reactive, tearful, exhausted, or disconnected during the holidays, even when events are meaningful or positive. The body is responding to cumulative demand, not a lack of gratitude or resilience.
For individuals with a history of anxiety, trauma, or burnout, holiday stress can feel especially intense because the nervous system is already carrying a higher baseline load. Family dynamics, unresolved relational patterns, and seasonal pressure to perform or connect can further amplify stress responses. Understanding holiday stress as a nervous system issue rather than a personal failing helps reframe rest as a biological necessity, not an indulgence.
Recently, I was featured in Real Simple to share why rest is more than self-care — it’s a seasonal biological rhythm that protects your mental health during high-stress periods like the holidays.
“Rest is not laziness; it is a biological requirement. Just like the earth turns inward in winter, our bodies crave restoration. When you honor the natural ebbs and flows, you prevent burnout and build resilience for spring.” — Chloë Bean, LMFT
Let’s explore why holiday stress hits so hard and what you can do to support your nervous system.
Why the Nervous System Struggles During the Holidays
The nervous system is designed to move between activation and rest. During the holidays, this balance is often disrupted by travel, social obligations, sensory input, and emotional pressure. When activation remains high without recovery, the body stays in a state of stress.
Holiday Stress Is Not Just Mental — It’s Physiological
Stress during the holidays does not live only in the mind. It shows up physically as tension, fatigue, shallow breathing, disrupted sleep, and emotional reactivity. These are signs of nervous system overload, not weakness or poor coping.
Why High-Achieving and Caretaking People Feel This More Intensely
People who are used to holding things together for others often push past their own limits during the holidays. The nervous system stays alert to meet external demands, leaving little space for restoration. Over time, this pattern leads to depletion rather than connection. For many, this seasonal strain mirrors patterns addressed in burnout therapy, where chronic stress quietly erodes emotional and physical resilience.
1. Family dynamics re-activate old roles
Even if you’ve done a lot of inner work, stepping back into childhood environments can activate younger parts of you — the people-pleaser, the responsible one, the peacemaker, or the perfectionist…sound familiar?
Your body tracks these dynamics before your brain does.
2. Emotional labor increases
Many women carry the unspoken job of managing the mood, needs, and comfort of those around them — especially during the holidays.
3. Sensory overload drains your system
Crowds, noise, travel, disrupted routines, and social expectations put your nervous system into overdrive, making rest and downtime essential.
4. Shorter days change your body’s biology
With less sunlight, your circadian rhythm shifts, naturally increasing fatigue. When you push against this natural rhythm, burnout intensifies.
Research from Harvard Health explains that the stress response is a built-in survival system — one that gets activated quickly during overwhelm or emotional triggers.¹ When holiday demands stack up, your body isn’t “overreacting”; it’s responding to perceived threat, even if the threat is emotional, not physical.
Source: Harvard Health — Understanding the Stress Response
How Rest Supports Nervous System Regulation
Rest allows the nervous system to shift out of survival mode and return toward regulation. This does not mean withdrawal or isolation. It means intentionally reducing stimulation so the body can sense safety, recalibrate, and regain capacity. When the nervous system has space to downshift, emotional regulation, clarity, and resilience naturally improve.
When signals for rest are ignored, the nervous system often stays in a heightened state of activation. This can show up as anxiety, irritability, emotional reactivity, shutdown, or exhaustion. Rest is not indulgent. It is a biological requirement for nervous system health, which is why somatic, nervous system–based therapies are especially supportive during high-stress seasons.
If you are feeling depleted or overwhelmed this season, you may benefit from understanding which burnout pattern your nervous system is operating from. You are welcome to take my free Burnout Quiz as a gentle starting point.
A Somatic Approach to Navigating Holiday Stress
Somatic approaches focus on how stress is experienced in the body rather than trying to think it away. Gentle awareness, pacing, and permission to slow down help signal safety to the nervous system and prevent overwhelm from accumulating. Small, consistent moments of regulation are often more effective than dramatic changes.
Use brief nervous system resets
Even 30–60 seconds can support regulation:
Feel your feet on the ground wherever you are
Slow and lengthen your exhales
Place a hand on your chest and notice warmth
Step away from noise or stimulation
Go outside for fresh air
Set one grounding boundary
Boundaries conserve nervous system energy. Try:
“I’m not able to discuss that today.”
“Please don’t comment on my body or food choices.”
“I can only stay until 8.”
“No, thank you.”
Do less on purpose
You do not need to attend every gathering or meet every expectation. Reducing demand allows your nervous system to stay regulated for the connections that matter most.
Create a simple rest ritual
Predictable rituals signal safety and stability. Consider:
Warm socks or a blanket at home
Soft lighting or candles
Tea breaks
Journaling
A long shower with a favorite scent
Quiet music or reading
Lying on the floor for two minutes and noticing stillness
Regulate before stressful environments
Before entering a holiday event, try:
Softening your jaw
Dropping your shoulders
Grounding through your feet
Lengthening your exhale
Reminding yourself of when and how you will rest afterward
These cues help your body remember that you are safe and have choice.
When the Holidays Bring Up Old Patterns
Many women look “fine” on the outside while experiencing:
holiday anxiety
emotional sensitivity
overwhelm
burnout
panic
freeze responses
people-pleasing
dysregulation around family
painful breakup triggers
loneliness
exhaustion
If this feels familiar, nothing about that means you are failing the holidays or doing something wrong. Your nervous system may simply be carrying more stimulation, expectation, and emotional load than it has space to recover from.
Somatic therapy works by helping the body feel safer, steadier, and more supported, especially during high-demand seasons like the holidays. Rather than pushing through stress, this approach weaves together nervous system regulation, trauma responses, and emotional patterns so relief can happen at the level it is actually held.
If it feels supportive, you are welcome to explore options that meet you where you are:
Learn about anxiety therapy in Los Angeles
Learn more about IFS therapy
Explore EMDR for trauma and holiday triggers
When you are ready, you are also welcome to reach out to see if working together feels like a good next step.
FAQ: Holiday Stress, Anxiety, and Rest
1. Why do I feel overwhelmed during the holidays?
Holiday overwhelm often comes from family triggers, sensory overload, emotional labor, and disrupted routines. Your nervous system responds with stress or shutdown. Somatic therapy helps regulate these patterns.
2. Is it normal to feel anxious going home for the holidays?
Yes. Family environments can activate old survival roles like people-pleasing, caretaking, or shutting down. This isn’t regression — it’s your body trying to protect you.
3. Why am I so tired during winter months?
Shorter days and seasonal rhythms naturally increase fatigue. Your body is biologically wired to slow down in winter, not speed up.
4. How do I protect my energy during holiday gatherings?
Try boundaries, grounding breaths, sensory breaks, leaving early, and creating a decompression window afterward. Gentle regulation before and after events makes a big difference.
5. How do I recover after a stressful family visit?
Allow yourself to reset with quiet time, slow mornings, journaling, warm sensory experiences, or somatic grounding. Your nervous system needs intentional rest to return to baseline.
6. How can therapy help with holiday stress and burnout?
Somatic, IFS, and EMDR therapy help you understand your triggers, regulate stress, heal old patterns, and create boundaries that feel safe — during the holidays and all year long.