How Learning to Breathe Again Helps Women Heal from High-Functioning Anxiety
Most women I work with describe a constant hum under the surface — a mix of tension, alertness, and exhaustion that never quite shuts off. On the outside, they’re composed and capable. On the inside, their bodies never stop scanning for what’s next.
In a recent Bustle feature on resonance-frequency breathing, I shared how intentional breathing can help regulate the nervous system and ease anxiety. But beyond the science, there’s something profound about learning to breathe again — not the shallow inhale we do while checking emails, but the kind of breath that tells the body: you’re safe now.
The Science of a Soothing Breath
Resonance-frequency breathing is a paced-breathing technique shown to balance the autonomic nervous system and improve heart-rate variability. Most people’s natural rhythm sits around five to seven breaths per minute — slower than the rushed rhythm many of us live in.
When you breathe this way, your heart and lungs start to synchronize. This gentle coherence signals your body to exit “fight-or-flight” and move toward a state of calm alertness. For clients with high-functioning anxiety, this practice can feel like the first time their body has truly exhaled in years.
When Anxiety Becomes a Body Habit
High-achieving women often live from the neck up — solving, anticipating, and being “on for everyone else”. Over time, that constant overdrive becomes the nervous system’s default setting. Even when life slows down, the body doesn’t believe it.
In somatic therapy, we look at anxiety not as a flaw to fix but as a pattern to re-learn. Your body’s quickened heart rate, shallow breath, or tight shoulders are not random; they’re signals of over-responsibility, perfectionism, or survival instincts that once helped you cope.
Through somatic and trauma-informed work — and simple, embodied tools like resonance-frequency breathing — we help the body recognize safety in stillness again.
Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Anxiety
Talk therapy can bring awareness to anxious patterns, but the body often needs a direct invitation to participate. That’s where somatic approaches like Somatic Experiencing (SE), EMDR, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) come in. They bridge the gap between insight and sensation, allowing stored activation to discharge safely.
Breathing becomes a bridge: instead of forcing calm through logic, you breathe calm into being.
A Practice to Try
Find a quiet space. Sit or lie down comfortably.
Breathe in for a count of 5. Feel your belly gently expand.
Breathe out for a count of 5. Let the exhale soften your jaw and shoulders.
Continue for 5 minutes, noticing how your body responds rather than striving for “perfect” breathing.
It’s common for emotions to surface — relief, grief, even irritation. That’s your nervous system shifting gears.
Healing Isn’t Just About Slowing Down — It’s About Syncing Up
So many of my clients fear that slowing down means losing their edge. In reality, regulation restores clarity and energy. When the body feels safe, the mind stops working overtime to protect it.
You don’t have to earn rest through burnout or productivity. Sometimes healing begins with something as ordinary — and revolutionary — as a full breath.
📍 If you’re a high-achieving woman in Los Angeles who feels anxious no matter how much you accomplish, somatic therapy can help you slow down without falling apart.
Many of the women I work with have spent years taking care of everyone else’s needs first — over-functioning, people-pleasing, and trying to prove their worth through doing.
If that resonates, my free People Pleaser Workbook offers somatic prompts and reflection exercises to help you begin noticing where your body says “yes” when your heart means “no.”
📍 I offer anxiety, trauma & relationship therapy in West Los Angeles and virtually throughout California. Book a free 20-minute consultation here.
Chloe Bean is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing West LA, California. She integrates Somatic Experiencing, IFS Therapy, and EMDR with traditional therapeutic approaches to support comprehensive healing from trauma, anxiety, burnout, body image issues, disordered eating, perfectionism, breakups, and toxic relationships.
Somatic Therapy & Breathwork: What You Might Wonder
1. What is resonance-frequency breathing?
It’s a paced-breathing technique (around 5–7 breaths per minute) that supports nervous-system balance and heart-rate variability.
2. How does breathwork help with anxiety?
Slow, rhythmic breathing activates the parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) system, reducing physical stress responses.
3. What makes somatic therapy different from traditional talk therapy?
Somatic therapy helps you process experiences through body awareness, movement, and regulation tools — not just cognition.
4. Is somatic therapy effective for high-functioning anxiety?
Yes. It helps women reconnect with their bodies, identify stress cues early, and rebuild a sense of calm from the inside out.