What I Shared in HuffPost About “Therapy-Speak” — and Why It’s Hurting Modern Dating
In my recent HuffPost feature, I spoke about the growing trend of “therapy-speak” — words like triggered, boundaries, attachment style, and capacity that have become part of our everyday dating conversations.
While this new language shows how far we’ve come in emotional awareness, I also see, as a Somatic Trauma Therapist in Los Angeles, how it’s starting to create distance instead of connection — especially for women struggling with anxiety and relationship burnout.
The Problem With “Therapy-Speak” in Dating
Therapy language gives us words for our pain, but it can also become a shield.
Instead of saying, “I felt hurt when you didn’t call,” many people now say, “My attachment system was activated.”
That might sound emotionally intelligent, but it often removes us from the body — and from true vulnerability.
As a therapist who helps women heal relationship anxiety, trauma, and people-pleasing patterns, I see this all the time. When we intellectualize feelings, we bypass the nervous system.
Our voice might sound calm, but our body is still tense, guarded, or holding its breath.
Why This Matters for High-Achieving Women
High-functioning, sensitive women — especially those healing from trauma or toxic relationships — often default to logic and control as a survival skill.
When you’ve been hurt, you learn to protect yourself with words, analysis, and insight.
But connection isn’t built through perfect communication; it’s built through safety, co-regulation, and embodied presence.
That’s where somatic therapy comes in.
Somatic therapy helps you notice what’s happening beneath the language — the tightening in your chest when you feel dismissed, the urge to withdraw when conflict arises, the shallow breath that signals old fear.
Through body awareness and nervous system healing, you learn how to communicate from grounded self-trust instead of hypervigilance or reactivity.
How to Date Without Losing Yourself (or Your Body)
Here’s what I often share with clients:
Slow down before you speak. Feel your feet, take a breath, and notice your body before responding.
Name sensations, not diagnoses. Say “I notice my chest tightening,” instead of “I’m triggered.”
Stay curious. Therapy-speak can end the conversation; curiosity opens it.
Lead with presence, not performance. True intimacy isn’t about sounding regulated — it’s about being real.
When you can stay connected to your body, you stop performing emotional fluency and start living it.
Why Somatic Therapy Helps You Build Real Connection
Somatic trauma therapy blends nervous system healing with emotional awareness — helping you process past hurt and learn what safety feels like again.
As a Somatic Therapist for women in Los Angeles and across California, I help clients move beyond analysis and into authentic self-connection.
You don’t need more scripts or psychology jargon — you need presence, breath, and trust in your body.
Final Reflection
If you’ve found yourself overanalyzing texts, replaying conversations, or trying to “say it right,” it’s not that you’re too much — it’s that your nervous system is craving safety.
Somatic therapy helps you return to your body, your truth, and the kind of relationships where you can finally exhale.
📍 I offer in-person therapy in Los Angeles and virtual therapy across California.
👉 Book a free consultation here
In Case You Missed It:
You can read the original Huffpost article here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/therapy-speak-texting-dating_l_68b8547ae4b042094acfcccc
Free Resource: Am I a People Pleaser? Workbook
Many of my clients struggling with dating anxiety also notice they’re caught in people-pleasing patterns — saying yes when they mean no, taking on too much, or losing trust in themselves.
That’s why I created a free workbook, “Am I a People Pleaser?” You’ll also find it in the footer of my site — it’s filled with reflective prompts to help you understand your patterns and start building healthier boundaries.
📍 I offer anxiety, trauma & relationship therapy in West Los Angeles and virtually throughout California. Book a free 20-minute consultation here.
Chloe Bean is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing West LA, California. She integrates Somatic Experiencing, IFS Therapy, and EMDR with traditional therapeutic approaches to support comprehensive healing from trauma, anxiety, burnout, body image issues, disordered eating, perfectionism, breakups, and toxic relationships.
What You Might Wonder About Therapy Speak, Somatic Healing, and Modern Dating
1. What is therapy-speak?
Therapy-speak refers to psychological terms (like “boundaries” or “trauma response”) that have entered everyday language. While useful, overusing them can distance you from real emotions and connection.
2. How can somatic therapy help with dating anxiety?
Somatic therapy helps regulate your nervous system so you can stay grounded in your body, communicate authentically, and recognize when fear or old patterns are guiding your reactions.
3. What makes Chloe Bean Therapy different?
As a Somatic Trauma Therapist in Los Angeles, I integrate Somatic Experiencing®, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help high-achieving women heal anxiety, burnout, and relationship trauma — not just talk about it.
4. Do you offer virtual sessions?
Yes. I offer somatic trauma therapy in-person in West LA and online throughout California.
5. How can I get started?
Book a free consultation to explore whether somatic therapy could help you feel more grounded and connected in your relationships.