Why High-Achieving Women Struggle with Anxiety and What Actually Helps
Chloë Bean, LMFT is a licensed somatic trauma therapist based in Los Angeles, specializing in anxiety, burnout, trauma, and nervous system healing for high-achieving women. Her work integrates somatic therapy, EMDR, and IFS to support lasting regulation, resilience, and relational healing.
Why High-Achieving Women Feel Anxious Even When Everything Looks Fine
Anxiety in high-achieving women is often less about weakness or overthinking and more about chronic nervous system activation driven by pressure, responsibility, and early conditioning.
If you’re a high-achieving woman who gets things done, holds it all together for everyone else, and somehow still feels like it’s never enough—you’re not defective. You’re human. And honestly? You’re probably exhausted.
You might have a successful career, a full life, have been to therapy or have a self-help bookshelf—but deep down, you still feel anxious, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge.
And if you’ve ever been told things like:
“You’re just overthinking.”
“You worry too much.”
“You’re so sensitive and dramatic…”
…it can make you wonder, what’s wrong with me?
Nothing’s wrong with you. You’ve just been living in survival mode for a long time—and you’ve gotten really good at it.
Why High-Achieving Women Carry So Much Anxiety
Many high-functioning, perfectionistic women carry a deep internal pressure to perform, please, or prove themselves.
It might look like:
Being the “responsible one” in your family or workplace, taking on extra work and helping when no one else does
Over-preparing, over-functioning, overthinking—just so you can finally relax—but you can’t
Feeling guilty when you slow down, even when you’re burnt out
Questioning yourself constantly, even though everyone else sees you as competent
Anxiety often hides behind achievement. From the outside, it looks like success. Inside, it feels like tightness in your chest, spiraling thoughts at 2 a.m., or an invisible weight you carry around every day.
This kind of anxiety is rarely “just anxiety.” It’s often rooted in trauma, attachment wounds, chronic stress, or a lifetime of feeling like you had to be “on” in order to be okay.
What’s Beneath the Surface?
Many high-achieving women grew up in environments where being good, helpful, or high-performing was the safest option.
You may have learned to:
Shrink your needs
Be the peacekeeper
Ignore your own discomfort
Avoid disappointing others at all costs
Over time, your nervous system internalizes this as the norm. Hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or perfectionism aren’t character flaws—they’re protective strategies.
That’s why anxiety doesn’t go away just by thinking differently. It is a protective part (in IFS Therapy terms) letting you know you need support and attention. Your body is still operating as if it’s in danger. And until you feel safe on a nervous-system level, anxiety tends to stick around, trying to do its job!
How Somatic, Trauma-Informed Therapy Can Actually Help
This isn’t about managing your anxiety with more to-do lists or trying to mindset your way out of stress.
You’ve probably tried that already.
Instead, healing begins by working with your body and the many parts of you, not against them. When you start to understand how your anxiety is showing up in your nervous system, things begin to shift.
In my work as a Somatic trauma therapist, I integrate:
Somatic Therapy (Somatic Experiencing) to help you regulate and ground your body in the here and now
IFS (Parts Work) to connect with the protective parts of you (like the anxiety, inner critic, or overachiever) with compassion, not shame
EMDR to reprocess old beliefs, memories, and patterns that fuel anxiety and keep you stuck in overdrive
This kind of therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about relearning what safety feels like in your body, so you can live your life fully from a place of grounded presence instead of hypervigilance.
What Healing Might Actually Feel Like
Therapy won’t turn you into a totally different person.
It helps you feel more like yourself—without the constant tension and pressure.
You might notice:
Your brain feels less noisy
You can say “no” without spiraling
You start saying “yes” with more clarity
You start sleeping better, breathing deeper
You stop second-guessing yourself all the time
You’re able to rest without guilt
You reconnect with what actually brings you joy—not just what makes you “productive”
You start trusting yourself again. And that changes everything.
You are not too much. And you are not broken.
What you are carrying makes sense.
If anxiety has followed you even as you keep showing up, achieving, and holding things together, you are not alone. For many high-achieving women, anxiety is less about weakness and more about a nervous system that has been under sustained pressure for a long time.
Therapy can be a place to slow down, listen to what your body has been holding, and begin relating to yourself with more ease and compassion. I offer trauma-informed, somatic therapy for anxiety and perfectionism in West Los Angeles and online throughout California.
If it feels supportive, you are welcome to reach out and see if working together feels like a good next step.