Why Holiday Stress Feels Overwhelming — and How Rest Supports Your Nervous System
By Chloë Bean, LMFT — Somatic Trauma Therapist for High-Achieving Women
The holidays are often portrayed as cozy, joyful, and full of connection.
But for many high-achieving women, this season brings anxiety, exhaustion, emotional intensity, and pressure to keep everyone happy.
If you feel overwhelmed during the holidays, you’re not alone.
In fact, your nervous system is responding exactly how it’s designed to.
Recently, I was featured in Real Simple to share why rest is more than self-care — it’s a seasonal biological rhythm that protects your mental health during high-stress periods like the holidays.
“Rest is not laziness; it is a biological requirement. Just like the earth turns inward in winter, our bodies crave restoration. When you honor the natural ebbs and flows, you prevent burnout and build resilience for spring.” — Chloë Bean, LMFT
Let’s explore why holiday stress hits so hard and what you can do to support your nervous system.
Why Holiday Stress Feels So Intense
1. Family dynamics re-activate old roles
Even if you’ve done a lot of inner work, stepping back into childhood environments can activate younger parts of you — the people-pleaser, the responsible one, the peacemaker, or the perfectionist…sound familiar?
Your body tracks these dynamics before your brain does.
2. Emotional labor increases
Many women carry the unspoken job of managing the mood, needs, and comfort of those around them — especially during the holidays.
3. Sensory overload drains your system
Crowds, noise, travel, disrupted routines, and social expectations put your nervous system into overdrive, making rest and downtime essential.
4. Shorter days change your body’s biology
With less sunlight, your circadian rhythm shifts, naturally increasing fatigue. When you push against this natural rhythm, burnout intensifies.
Research from Harvard Health explains that the stress response is a built-in survival system — one that gets activated quickly during overwhelm or emotional triggers.¹ When holiday demands stack up, your body isn’t “overreacting”; it’s responding to perceived threat, even if the threat is emotional, not physical.
Source: Harvard Health — Understanding the Stress Response
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response
Rest as a Seasonal Rhythm (Not a Luxury)
Winter is biologically a slow season.
Nature turns inward.
Animals conserve energy.
Trees rest.
The earth quiets.
Your nervous system knows this, too.
Winter is designed for:
integration
gentleness
reflection
recalibration
rest
When you ignore those signals, you experience anxiety, irritability, emotional reactivity, isolation, freeze, or shutdown. Rest isn't indulgent — it's part of your survival.
Feeling depleted or overwhelmed this season? You can take my free Burnout Quiz to see which burnout pattern your nervous system is operating from. 👉 Take the Burnout Quiz
Somatic Tools to Protect Your Energy During the Holidays
1. Use “mini-rests” throughout the day
Even 30–60 seconds helps reset your system:
feel your feet on the ground wherever you are
slow your exhales
place a hand on your heart and feel the warmth of you chest
take a quiet break from the noise and constant demands
step outside for fresh air
These micro-moments prevent overwhelm from accumulating.
2. Set one grounding boundary
Try:
“I’m not able to discuss that topic today.”
Please don’t comment about my body or food choices.
“I can only stay until 8.”
“No, thank you.” (A full, complete sentence.)
Boundaries conserve emotional energy and protect you.
3. Do less on purpose
You don’t have to attend every gathering, host every event, or meet every expectation.
Your nervous system will thank you and be more recharged for the events you WANT to attend.
4. Create a simple rest ritual
Rituals signal safety and stability. Try:
warm socks when you’re home
soft lighting/candles
tea breaks
journaling
a long shower with your favorite soap or body scrub
reading
quiet music
lying on the floor for 2 minutes and noticing the stillness underneath
This reminds your body it can soften and let go.
5. Regulate before stressful environments
Before walking into a holiday event, try:
softening your jaw
dropping your shoulders
grounding through your feet
lengthening your exhale
remembering your plan for rest afterwards
Your body needs cues that you are safe and have agency!
When the Holidays Bring Up Old Patterns
Many women look “fine” on the outside while experiencing:
holiday anxiety
emotional sensitivity
overwhelm
burnout
panic
freeze responses
people-pleasing
dysregulation around family
painful breakup triggers
loneliness
exhaustion
If this feels familiar, somatic therapy weaves together your body, nervous system, trauma responses, and emotional patterns so you can feel more grounded and supported.
👉 Learn about anxiety therapy in Los Angeles
👉 Explore somatic therapy for burnout + overwhelm
👉 Learn more about IFS therapy
👉 Explore EMDR for trauma + holiday triggers
FAQ: Holiday Stress, Anxiety, and Rest
1. Why do I feel overwhelmed during the holidays?
Holiday overwhelm often comes from family triggers, sensory overload, emotional labor, and disrupted routines. Your nervous system responds with stress or shutdown. Somatic therapy helps regulate these patterns.
2. Is it normal to feel anxious going home for the holidays?
Yes. Family environments can activate old survival roles like people-pleasing, caretaking, or shutting down. This isn’t regression — it’s your body trying to protect you.
3. Why am I so tired during winter months?
Shorter days and seasonal rhythms naturally increase fatigue. Your body is biologically wired to slow down in winter, not speed up.
4. How do I protect my energy during holiday gatherings?
Try boundaries, grounding breaths, sensory breaks, leaving early, and creating a decompression window afterward. Gentle regulation before and after events makes a big difference.
5. How do I recover after a stressful family visit?
Allow yourself to reset with quiet time, slow mornings, journaling, warm sensory experiences, or somatic grounding. Your nervous system needs intentional rest to return to baseline.
6. How can therapy help with holiday stress and burnout?
Somatic, IFS, and EMDR therapy help you understand your triggers, regulate stress, heal old patterns, and create boundaries that feel safe — during the holidays and all year long.